Beyond the Dungeon
This article is about safety outside
of play-space. Before that, there are a couple of new items in my toy bag I
want tell you about. I don't usually make endorsements but I strongly suggest
these for anyone's toy bag.
The first is a six-ounce bottle of the new, Band-Aid Brand Antiseptic Wash.
This plastic squeeze bottle of anesthetic, first aid antiseptic is meant to
replace soap and water for washing out minor cuts and scrapes. It's a hands-free
way to quickly wash out a little nick and takes the sting out too. I like it
for the size and cost. There are other products like it but most cost more and
some are an aerosol. I think the squeeze bottle will be gentler. Remember no
such product should be used on deep or puncture wounds, bites or serious burns.
The second is not so much a new product as a new package. Clorox Disinfecting
Wipes now come in a handy little eight pack that's about the size of a
checkbook. They won't take up much space it the toy bag and can be stuck in a
purse, jacket or even a hip pocket. Most of the play-parties I go to have
disinfecting supplies accessible to all play stations (no I'm not talking
about the video game) but some may not. Sometimes people walk off with them
and forget to return them. Regardless of how good the safety procedures,
remember your safety is ultimately your responsibility. I know it's hard when
you want to play and there are people waiting for stations but remember
disinfectants require contact time to kill germs. Try to allow at least ten
minutes before wiping the surface dry.
More often than not, accountability doesn't end with the scene; often it
follows you after everyone's clothes are back on and all the lights in the
play space are off. I think I can best explain with a story. Among my favorite
types of SM play are fire cupping and knife play. Both of these can have a
strong psychological effect on Top or bottom.
Let me digress from the story a moment to explain how knife-play differs from
cutting. Cutting in SM involves the deliberate breaking of the skin usually
with a scalpel. The cuts are only deep enough to draw a small amount of blood.
It can be done for that purpose or to allow a small scare to form. Usually
when a scare is the desired result, the cut or cuts are made in a pattern.
This can be used as a mark of ownership much like a branding or tattoo. Please
don't try cutting or branding without a lot of thought and attend workshops
taught by those who can help you learn to do these types of play with greater
safety. There is always some risk of infection or other complications with
either. Also, no homemade tats; tattooing should only be done by a qualified
person. The state I live in requires tattoo parlors to be inspected and have a
permit that's issued by the county health departments. I strongly recommend
that before you do any body modification, you get the hepatitis vaccine. Hep
vac only works if you get it first.
In contrast, the goal in knife-play is not to cut but to threaten. Often the
knife used would have trouble cutting anything but butter. Some people use
sharp knives and some use both sharp and dull. Simply put knife play is
intimidation play. It is meant to be a real mind-fuck. I not writing this to
teach any type of edge play like cutting or knife play but the story I'm about
to tell requires the reader to have some familiarity with knife-play to make
its point.
A number of years ago, I played a very intense knife scene while attending a
well know Regional Event. I'm not at liberty to give details. I checked with
the sub a few days later to make sure she was fine and to talk about the scene.
I like to get feed back after the sub has been in normal space for a couple of
days and has time to reflect on what she liked and didn't like. Don't expect
objective criticism during after-care. All was well and then a few more days
after that, a good five days from the scene, something happened. No it wasn't
necessarily bad and it didn't happen to the sub. While smiling to myself and
recalling the scene with great pleasure I suddenly had a flash back to and
event in my own life. Again I not at liberty to give the details but many
years before I had been held at knifepoint and it had nothing to do with BDSM.
I didn't realize until then that I still had unresolved anger. It wasn't
pleasant but it was cathartic. My point is that some types of play that touch
on our deepest emotions life knife play or fire play can have emotional
effects long passed the after-care that immediately follows the scene.
This longer term follow up of the bottom's well-being can have physical
implications as well as emotional. Extreme impact play like a severe canning
can cause deep soft tissue damage that might not be noticed for several days.
But more about impact play next time. Until then, remember to do your best to
cause no intentional harm outside of play space and no harm accidentally
inside of play space.
