Historical Overview
My interest in spanking began more than 25 years ago, when I was in my early 20's. I happened to be watching an x-rated movie when a scene came on where a lady was being spanked within an erotic context. I was immediately struck by the intensity of the erotic impact this scene had; in fact, for me, this was the most erotic scene in the entire movie. As the years went by, I knew that, for me, spanking was highly erotic, but I never understood why, and never met or dated anyone who shared my interest. Eventually, I got married, and, of course, my wife did not share this interest either. And I did not say anything about it because I viewed my own needs as peculiar and was afraid of her reaction if I were to bring up the topic.
For most of my life this need remained buried and I felt very much alone, not knowing even one other person with whom I could talk. Because of this feeling of isolation, I truly felt like something was wrong with me; like I was mis-wired in some way. I went online in October 1995, and for the first time was able to meet and talk to other people who shared this interest.
Genetic Predisposition?
One valid topic for discussion is whether these types of erotic interests/needs are genetically based or are intellectual choices. If it is the latter, then "interest" would be a more appropriate term. If it is genetically based, then "need" would be the appropriate term. After doing much soul searching about this, I have concluded that, for some people (like myself) there is a genetic pre-disposition involved. It has always been a very strong NEED for me, not an interest which I could take or leave. I never had a choice; it was a need, just as strong as what many would consider to be a need for "normal" sex. Having no outlet for most of my life has resulted in significant frustration and loneliness. There is also emotional distress associated with feeling "alone" and like there is generally something "wrong" with you.
Out of the Closet:
The internet was a blessing for those of us alone and in the closet with sexual needs not generally considered to be the "norm". For the first time, I was able to meet and talk to others who shared similar interests. For the first time in my life, I realized that I was not alone. After establishing trust and exchanging a few phone numbers, it was a breath of fresh air to actually talk to other people and occasionally meet in real life.
In August 1996, I attended the Shadow Lane party in Palm Springs, California, where I met Eve, and some of the guests and vendors. I must admit, I was shocked when I suddenly discovered that some people were so uninhibited that they thought little of getting a bare bottomed spanking in the middle of the ballroom, with hundreds of people watching. I kept wondering if they briefed the hotel staff on what might transpire that evening? Unfortunately, the ratio of single males to single females was about 10 to 1, thus it became apparent that connecting with a female that weekend was a practical impossibility. Because of this, I left early Sunday and drove to Ventura, where I got together with a lady I had met online. This was my first real life spanking experience. It was intense and incredibly enjoyable (she was a switch). And (not that I would suggest doing this) we both broke many of the rules of safe meeting practices.... I drove straight to her house at night, for the purpose of playing. No meeting anonymously at a public place first. As your parents might say, "do as I say, not as I do".
Subsequently, most sincere contacts were with females in other states. To this day, it has been very difficult to make contacts within Colorado. I am still not sure why. I did discover that, in general, most females systematically reject any married male as a play partner. This has made it exceedingly difficult to find a willing play partner anywhere; within or outside of Colorado.
Personal Preferences:
My primary interest is spanking within a highly sensual/erotic context,
perhaps combined with light bondage (although I can take or leave the bondage).
I am not into hard core BDSM activities or severe pain (welts, bruises).
I am a:
and enjoy playing as either top or bottom. I would prefer meeting a female
switch, and am willing to go to great lengths to please any prospective
spanking partner. It would be useful for you to read
Play
Orientation, if you wish to have a better understanding my attitude and
orientation to play and what I would be looking for in a prospective partner.
Mutual trust, sensitivity to each other's needs, and respect for each other's limits are very important to me. Any play partner would have to share these ideals and adhere to safe, respectful, consensual play practices.
I am primarily interested in "sensual- physical" (top/bottom) type of play
rather than "psychosexual - mental" (psychological domination). For a more
detailed discussion on this read
Dom/Sub...Top/Bottom;
Distinction, Discussion & Semantics
The following is a list of things that I might enjoy incorporating into a
spanking experience:
The following is a list of things that I would not enjoy, and to which I would not consent:
Implements I Enjoy:
Hand crafted by me:
Purchased:
The linoleum strap deserves a brief comment. Although linoleum may not sound like the most erotic material from which to make an implement, it truly has some unique characteristics. It is very lightweight and silky smooth (I rounded all edges and smoothed the surface with very fine sandpaper). It's whip-like / fly swatter action leaves a very erotic sting on the skin. However, because it is so lightweight and smooth, it would be the perfect implement for someone who absolutely did not want any bruises or marks. Unfortunately, it is very noisy and could not be used where noise is a consideration.
I should also mention that The Toy Bag (link below) sells incredibly nice paddles made of exotic hardwoods. Woods like cocobola and paduk are harder than oak, and the resulting sensation is unique, and (in my opinion) more erotic than a normal hardwood, like oak. Remember, severity is ultimately in the DELIVERY, not necessarily intrinsic to the implement itself. Never turn down a chance to experiment with a new implement because you think it is too severe. Just make sure your partner has a clear understanding of your limits, and has reasonable skill in controling and using the implement.
Philosophy / Attitude:
Any prospective play partner should subscribe to the following philosophy:
" The top is, in reality, the servant that does everything in their power to provide the conditions and tactile stimulations needed for the sexual pleasure of the bottom." The Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices
Local BDSM Groups:
In the spring of 1997, I joined Uncommon Ground, a D/s group in Denver, Colorado. The range of interests is broad; some purely into spanking, some into harder core aspects of BDSM. It provides an opportunity to meet and socialize with others who have similar interests. Each meeting is comprised of social time and one or more educational programs. The educational programs often cover topics such as safe play practices, safe meeting practices, techniques, demonstrations.
Scarlett Moons of Denver is a local group with a more narrow focus; spanking/corporal punishment.
Are you a female looking for a spanking partner, who:
Then, please email me:
SteveRT302@aol.com